The tragedy of a beautiful ending
by buahkedongdong
Summary: The ending of mockingjay needed some... closure. katniss, gale and peeta find themselves in district 12 together. Katniss does some serious thinking and Gale and Peeta come to terms with their subtle rivalry. A satisfactory ending to a whole lot of drama
1. Chapter 1: Trapped in a triangle

Why was I here? How could I ever be back at home? I should have died.

After a few days of locking myself up in my room and greasy Sae providing my meals, I finally decide to get myself some fresh air and maybe some thinking space. Hunting is something I need to do before I can accept the result of my actions, ever since that day I volunteered to save Prim. Prim, these few days, sometimes I press my back onto the wall of my room, adjacent to hers, hoping that I could feel her presence, comforting me, giving me hope.

I grab my game bag and open the door, hesitating before deciding that wearing my father's hunting jacket will only make me more confused. I don't know why, but I immediately dart out of the house, it seems like I can't bear to see anyone on my way to the forest, it just has to be me and me. Making eye contact with anyone will break that beautiful limbo I have locked myself in, I will be forced to let the clock start running.

I reach the forest, I feel a need to shoot something as soon as possible, or the emotions will flood me and a breakdown would start. But it seems that the forest is silent, I think of Gale, he would be unhappy at this situation if he was here, providing for his family is so important to him, I wouldn't think that he would ever want to away from them.

But he is. This reminds me that Gale is in District 2, he can no longer comfort me in a situation like this. I am still somewhat relieved that he is not here. I don't want to hear anything of the outside world, outside me.

I sit on a log, maybe I finally need to start thinking. First, I start thinking of people who have died, Finnick, Prim, Boggs, I go down the long list before allowing myself to let it sink in. Then, I think of people who have left me, my mother, Gale… It's not working, suddenly all I can think of is Peeta, he is fighting for my attention, his face floods my brain.

I sigh, I am not ready for such a decision yet.

"Hey."

My head darts around, the voice is so familiar, yet, it's just seems unreal. I slowly stand up, my slow pace turns into a frantic run. He embraces me and I smile. After forever, I pull back.

"Gale, why are you here? I thought you were in two!" I half stutter as I stare, my eyes brimming with tears, at Gale, in the flesh.

"Surprised? I took a little vacation to check out how everyone's been doing, so it just so happens I decided to take my mind off things and get some game. But it's such a coincidence that I run into you here!" He grins smugly, talking in an exaggerated tone. We laugh, because we know that he was really in the forest to look for me. Same old Gale, really sweet but doesn't admit it.

"Katniss? Gale? "

Both of us turn, this was too much for me to take. Peeta walks over with a slightly blank expression on his face, he takes in the shock of Gale's sudden arrival. He explains that Greasy Sae told him that I had left frantically and he just wanted to check on me. Same old Peeta, really protective but very shy.

They both stare at me and in a split second, I know that this is the time I'm supposed to make my decision, Peeta or Gale?


	2. Chapter 2:  Distractions, Realisations

I try to smile, but it is just too awkward. I think of my usual excuses, providing for my family, leading the rebellion, getting over trauma… but it suddenly seems completely invalid and I know that I have no way out. I look at Gale, he stares at me intensely, but turns away after noticing how uncomfortable I am. He understands what is happening, he knows what I am thinking, and seems to be dreading my answer. I turn away after a while, decidedly not looking at Peeta, if I did, everything would get worse.

After what seems like forever, Gale finally speaks up.

"Hey, umm, Katniss, Peeta, it's been nice seeing you guys again, but I have to get going," Gale says with a hint of finality. He looks at me and I understand he's giving me a way out, to allow me to escape the pressure once again. I nod with a silent sigh of relief.

"No, wait, don't go yet," Peeta speaks up. Gale and I turn to him, what is he doing? Then it occurs to me that maybe Peeta wants me to make the decision right here, right now. I wonder what Peeta is going to say, is he going to shout at my indecisiveness? Or is he going to plead for an answer?

Peeta seems to notice that he could have said something wrong. Another one of those awkward silences follow. I tell myself to think, but my mind is blank and I want nothing more than to run away, back into my room, comforted by Greasy Sae's soup.

Suddenly, I see a deer in the shadows, about 10 feet away. None of us has moved and it doesn't notice us. Gale follows my intent gaze and immediately understands. I wonder if it is the right time to hunt, considering I'm supposed to be making a big life decision. But Gale motions for Peeta to be silent and nods to me. One of the things I like about Gale, always trying his best to make my life easier. I grab my bow, which I had carefully slung around my back and an arrow. The last time I used my bow, it was to kill Coin, not one of my most proud kills. I am still a little sore from days without practice and take my time to adjust myself. However, when I am ready and shoot, it hits the deer dead in the heart, as if I had been training for days.

Gale smiles at me and I smile back, he understood me down to my core. Peeta stares in awe at my kill and I realize that's a part of me that he doesn't understand, the need to hunt. I don't make any move to collect the game, because at this point, hunting is just about that great feeling it gives me. Gale doesn't either, probably because he has almost too much money to need to hunt for survival again. However, I make a mental note to take some venison to Greasy Sae, it is one of my favourite soup ingredients.

Just when I think the silences are about to start again, Peeta decides it's time to end his long-forgotten statement. He turns to Gale, completely ignoring me. "I mean, it's rare that you are home, why not you stay for a night? I'm sure nothing beats being with your family and friends for a day or two?"

I sigh, how diplomatic of you Peeta. Gale cannot wait to agree because the situation was already awkward enough. We decide that it is time to go home for dinner and we bid awkward farewells. I smile an unconvincing grin and immediately head home, forgetting all about the deer and just about how lucky I was to avoid the trauma for one more day.


	3. Chapter 3: Making frenemies

Gale's POV

I don't understand what I'm waiting for. Coming back to district 12, wasn't it just to hear Katniss out? Why was I so desperate in the forest to run away? I just have to understand that we must break out of this triangle, I don't know why, but I feel so comfortable with the uncertainty. Maybe it's just a feeling of knowing that I still stand a chance, that every time Katniss looks at me, she could be falling in love with me. Sometimes I feel like we are all trapped in this tragedy, and none of us want to get out. Except, maybe Peeta, he's brave in his own way I suppose. He wants to know the truth and I just want to hide from it.

I spend the night at my family's new home. I miss them a lot, and I'm glad to be back. But I feel like my arrival is unwelcome by Katniss, maybe that's why I keep trying to escape, because I know that's what she wants me to do. I take a walk at night, something rather out of my character, but I feel like that was the only way to think. I walk by the new homes, still clean, but obviously made in a hurry so that people could move in as soon as possible. They look horribly shoddy compared to the Victors' mansions down the road.

When I realize I'm right outside Katniss's house, I don't know whether to smile or cry, because the two extremes seem so close in our relationship. I stare for a long time, I see the lights on in her room and I know she's there, because knowing Katniss, she's probably trying to avoid everyone, meaning no life changing talk with peeta and me. I turn and I look at Prim's room, I imagine buttercup searching for her scent in the pillows, in the bed, in everything she touched and I know he will only get sadder when he finds it and realizes it's not really her.

Suddenly, I think of me, desperately holding on to Katniss, trying not to let her leave me, but at the same time, I'm afraid of what happens when I realize I might be pushing her away.

"Do you love her?" I turn my head, Peeta's solemn voice catches me by surprise.

I hesitate on what to say but I realize Peeta isn't confronting me, just hoping for an answer.

"Yes, with all my heart." I ponder on whether to say more, but Peeta seems satisfied and he nods.

"Me too," he seems to show a shadow of a smile, but he looks lost in thought. "You know, I feel like this is the best way for us. I know the day Katniss finally wants to choose, all three of us, we will all be thrown into this mess, and after that, there's no going back. But…we can't wait forever, you know? When it happens, I don't want you and me to hate each other, because in a way, it seems that we three are destined to be kept together for life, no matter who she chooses."

I'm shocked at how frank Peeta is. He seems to understand everything, and in a way, I think we all want the same things, we just deal with that differently. I suddenly feel like I'm just starting to get to know Peeta, before that, all I knew about him was from our brief encounters and all that I saw on television. I never thought of Peeta as someone I could hang out with because I wanted to, and not because of Katniss's silly attempts to make life less awkward. Suddenly, I don't want Katniss to be the only thing that both of us can relate to, because after all we've been through, it's stupid that we're not friends.

We talk for a long time, about our different experiences, before the games, before Katniss. Peeta had so many parts of his personality that I had neglected. I feel stupid for treating Peeta as an enemy, after knowing someone for so long, I was too narrow-minded to get to know him better. In a way, we have been trapped by our common love for Katniss and yet I feel that that rivalry has helped me make a new friend.

And that's what makes the choosing even harder.


	4. Chapter 4: Same mentor, different game

Katniss's POV

Day 2 of trauma officially begins. I cannot believe how afraid I am. Getting thrown into a 76th Hunger Games is 10 times easier than getting thrown between Peeta and Gale. So many things have happened between us, Peeta getting hijacked, Gale making the bomb, but I know that I still love them both.

I think about hiding out in the forest for a while, but I'm sure that that would be their first guess. Where to go? I need to get away from this. And then the idea struck me, a place where no one would expect me to be, where I can avoid facing all my fears.

I fling myself out of the bedroom door and down the stairs. Grabbing a bottle of beer from the recently stocked up kitchen, I immediately run towards my target, Haymitch's.

I don't bother knocking as I go in, but I make sure to hold the bottle in plain sight so a drunk Haymitch might think twice about throwing something at me. I don't consider myself lucky or unlucky, because there's Haymitch, lying on the couch, an empty bottle in his hand, sleeping not so soundly. Before I think about making my presence known, I do a quick survey of the house. Very dirty, very messy, very Haymitch. Suddenly, I don't feel like it's such a good idea to be here, but I decide it's better than anything outside.

I don't know why, but I feel a need to wake up Haymitch, maybe it's just instinct from the many times I had to get Haymitch sober to mentor me for the games. I wake over, grab Haymitch by his shoulders and shake him as hard as I can. He replies with a low moan and his eyes open ever so slightly. I wave the beer bottle in front of him and he smiles but looks slightly irritated that I come with it.

He makes little attempt to adjust and stays slouched on the couch. I fit the beer bottle into his hand and he chugs it down in record time. He seems to wake up a little more and decides it's time to acknowledge my presence.

"So, I heard Gale's in town, guess you're wondering who you should pick for your new star-crossed lover," Haymitch says indulgently, hiccupping ever so slightly between words. I feel like denying it, but Haymitch knows I don't make social visits to drunkards.

"You love both of 'em, so do you want to just flip a coin?" Haymitch guffaws and seems proud of his suggestion.

I scowl at him and half-run out of the house, trying to pretend I have not considered it.


	5. Chapter 5: Know thy enemy

Gale's POV

I make up my mind to go hunting. It seems stupid because I know I don't want to see Katniss and have one of those awkward moments again, but somehow I feel like Katniss isn't going to risk going there. If she isn't going, I better make use of the opportunity to clear my thoughts.

I take an unbelievable bow that I nicked from the Capitol armory just before it was burnt down. To be one of the front men of the rebellion, even though Coin has been killed by my best friend, makes me a rather important person in the eyes of the people of Panem. Probably MORE important than Peeta, I suddenly decide, considering the work he did as Snow's trusted sidekick while he was getting hijacked. That makes me somewhat satisfied that at least some people are on my side. Maybe that will be my source of comfort while getting through the days after Katniss chooses Peeta, a bunch of crazy district girls who think of me as their hero and a bunch of crazy capitol girls who think of me as their next Finnick. Don't get me wrong, I love Katniss, but maybe Peeta just loves her more. Some part of me knows that Katniss was utterly genuine while protecting Peeta during the games, but some smaller, dirtier part of me wants to believe that it was just an order from Haymitch that she followed all too well.

I'm on my way to the small hut in the meadow now, maybe this will bring back some memories for me. Memories of the good old days. The good old days to me are the times when Katniss and I went hunting together, talked together and were together. The best times of my life were spent with her, maybe the worst times were too. Another thing I decide to change about myself: do not call my times with Katniss the good OLD days, because I need to believe that they can come back.

Katniss and I have been through so much together and somewhere down there I always believed we would be together. But here comes Peeta, and all around good guy that sweeps her off her feet and now I'm treating myself as stale game. I keep fooling myself into thinking I've got a chance, that Peeta probably has a few hidden flaws, but having met him personally yesterday, let's just say, the term 'all around good guy' is not sarcastic. How do I compete with someone who gives so much? Compared to him, all Katniss will see in me is a selfish guy who can't love her enough.

So here's what I gathered while talking with Peeta yesterday: Firstly, he's an observer, he understands everything going on. He is a sensitive guy that probably will get beaten up even on my soft side. He loves Katniss, A LOT, and he isn't afraid to say it to me. He wants me to be his friend.

People like Peeta really piss me off sometimes. How do I compete with all that? He's not even giving me a fighting chance, or maybe that's just me.

~hope can be a cruel thing to give~


	6. Chapter 6: Best friends, but no more

Katniss' POV

Here I am, taking a large risk. I figured since Gale probably wanted to avoid me too, he wouldn't go hunting. So, why should I cram myself into Haymitch's sty? I took my bow, a few arrows and made my way to the meadow. It's a great day for hunting, I decide, but I want to use my woods time to focus on visiting a few memories.

I make a beeline for the hut, not noticing the ominous smoke billowing out from the chimney. I walk straight in, and even when I do, I take a few seconds to register that I'm not the only one there. The first sign I get is that the fireplace has a nice stack of firewood that is making the whole hut warmer than it should be. The second sign is, well, Gale, sitting on a log, minding his own business. Automatically I back out of the hut. I was not planning to see Gale today, so maybe I should just run off. But then I realize how ridiculous I look to just walk out as if nothing had happened. So, I walk back in and pretend it's the first time I've done so today.

"Hey." Gale looks up at me with really no sign of emotion on his face. Is he angry that I'm in his space? Is he sad that the thought of our situation is depressing? Is he AFRAID of something?

"Hey." I parrot, and he accepts the greeting and turns back to tending the fire.

"So, the weather, great for hunting…" I manage to spit out, in the lamest way possible.

Gale looks at me from the corner of his eye, as if to say, _I don't really want to talk to you about the weather right now_. Then, he turns away, muttering, "yeah". I feel like hitting myself, I'm talking to my best friend that I have know for years and all I can manage is small talk about the weather? I put down my things and sit beside him on the log, making sure to keep a good but not very obvious distance.

"So," Gale sighs, "how's it been, Katniss?" Then I remember that this is the second time I've seen Gale in a long while and we haven't caught up. I feel like telling him about Greasy Sae and her soup, the bread that Peeta brings to our kitchen every now and then, the way Haymitch insists on getting wasted, all the insignificant things that make up small talk.

"I don't blame you," I say quietly, he turns to me with wild eyes, "about Prim. I know you loved her like a sister and would never have done anything to hurt her." Then I turn away. Where did that come from? Until now, I had not come to terms with the fact that Gale had created Prim's deathbed. Maybe I was speaking from my heart, I was really ready to let go of this incident. Prim is held dear in my heart, but so is Gale, and somehow I know that she would never have blamed him for anything.

I turn back to face him, he opens his mouth and then closes it again. Suddenly, he smiles as if he had just been liberated and locks me into a tight embrace. Suddenly, I think, _we're friends again, best friends_. When I finally break away, Gale asks if I want to go hunting, for old time's sake, but he chokes a little on the word _old_. I agree, because that's what me and Gale do, we do things together.

Just as we walk out, I remark at what a beautiful bow Gale has, and he suddenly breaks into laughter. It makes me smile to know that nothing has changed our friendship, but it makes me tear a little to know that nothing can.


End file.
